Oh man, am I ever excited for this one, guys. For this one, I am rewatching Slither – one of the grossest, funniest, weirdest alien/parasite/zombie movies I’ve personally ever seen. As you may recall, I’m a bit of a James Gunn fangirl. And if Dawn of the Dead made me a fan, this flick made me love him unconditionally. It’s got Nathan Fillion, for Christ’s sake. COME ON.
Heart you, sir!
This is another one where I can’t remember how I first saw it. I’ve watched it so many times I feel like I’ve always owned it. I would have been in university, I suspect I rented it, and I am almost positive I watched it alone because I can’t think of anyone, save maybe my brother, who would have actually sat through this with me. I’m sure I rented it simply because Nathan Fillion was in it, and then when I found out it was written and directed by James Gunn, well, all the better! All I know for sure is that the film still manages to gross me out (I gag every time a slug tries to work it’s way in someone’s mouth) and make me laugh hysterically (I go back and forth on whose lines I love more, Nathan Fillion’s or Gregg Henry’s) to this day.
A meteor crashes to earth in the middle of a buckfutt nowhere town in the south. Riding that meteor into town is a disgusting parasitic alien, that takes residence in the town’s local car dealer named Grant Grant.
Grant is married to Starla, who is a loving and doting wife.
He loves her so much, even as a slug-like alien monster, he can’t bring himself to infect her with his young. So he seeks out another hapless victim, stuffs her full of slug larvae, and feeds her until she explodes.
This leads to the release of hundreds of these slug-like parasites, that begin taking over the townsfolk by crawling into their mouths and attaching themselves to their brains.
They turn into hive-minded zombie-like creatures, all controlled by Grant, who become hellbent on infecting others and capturing Starla so they can bring her home. But little do these alien parasites know who they’re fucking with.
Nathan Fillion is the chief in this here town and it’s up to him, Starla, and some poor young girl who managed to fight off a slug attack while taking a bath to stop them before they take over the world. In case I wasn’t clear, this flick is GROSS and it is HILARIOUS. I love it.
Jesus, where do I even begin? This movie is chock full of moments that delight and disgust me. Let’s break it down, shall we?
* Once the police catch on that Grant is changing, they keep referring to him “looking like a squid”. They try to track his progress through the town so they can catch up to him and, well…
The little squid stickers they use to track his progress on that map cracks me up.
* The first death we see, and the first real “OMG!” moment (for me at least) is when Grant kills one of Pardy’s deputies by splitting him in half with a tentacle.
It’s perfectly timed, and appropriately disgusting.
* Speaking of disgusting…
Did I mention how awful and awesome this is? Because it is.
* Starla. Starla, it turns out, is a bit of a badass. She shoots Wally right in the head.
And later she stabs the shit out of one of the other deputy-zombies.
She also is willing to make nice with this thing:
just to get close enough to stab it.
That takes some balls. As Jack so aptly put it, “Bitch is hardcore!”
* “Shelby, are you nodding?”
* Pardy’s reaction to all the infected people joining the massive blob that Grant has become and getting absorbed into his body:
You said it, sir.
* When poor Jack is finally taken and impregnated with slugs, he begs Pardy to shoot him.
He complies without hesitation. And I laugh.
* The whole climactic grenade scene, where Pardy runs in all dramatic, makes a sarcastic quip before preparing to launch the grenade, then getting his ass kicked by Grant’s tentacles and literally watching his plan blow up in his face. It’s just wonderful.
* Pardy is finally able to defeat Grant when Grant tries to impregnate him with slugs and Pardy sticks one of his tentacles into a propane tank and screams at Starla to shoot it. The result?
IT’S SO GROSS I LOVE IT SO MUCH OH MY GOD.
* I honestly don’t know who makes me laugh more – Chief Pardy or Mayor MacReady. I mean, Bill gave me this delightful moment…
Bill Pardy: “Hell, if he had a ‘gina, you’d’a married him, too.”
Kid: “What’s a “‘gina”?”
Bill Pardy: [after an awkward pause] “It’s a country. You know, where “Ginese” people come from.”
But then again, Jack’s reaction to the slugs is priceless…
Jack MacReady: [to Margaret] “Praise Jesus? That’s fucking pushing it! This shit’s about as far from God as shit can get! Either of you ever seen anything like that? You even heard of anything like that? Huh? Me neither… and I watch Animal Planet all the fucking time!”
Bill did compare Grant to a squid first…
Bill Pardy: “Grant looks like a squid, don’t know where he’s gonna hide… Seaworld maybe.”
But Jack had the greatest freak out over Mr. Pibb known to man…
Jack MacReady: “Where is the Mr. Pibb? I told your secretary to pack Mr. Pibb. It’s the only Coke I like. Goddamn Brenda exploding like a water balloon, worms driving my friends around like they’re goddamn skin-cars, people are spitting acid at me, turning you into cottage cheese, and now there’s no fucking goddamn Mr. Pibb?!”
Bill Pardy: “What?”
Jack MacReady: “Lyme disease. You touch some deer feces, and then you… eat a sandwich without washin’ your hands. You got your lyme disease!”
Bill Pardy: “And that makes you look like a squid?”
Oh hell, let’s call it a draw!
Jack MacReady: [referring to Grant] “He’s a goddamn Martian?”
Bill Pardy: “Martians is from Mars, Jack.”
Jack MacReady: [through gritted teeth] “Or it’s a general term meaning ‘outer-space fucker’.”
Bill Pardy: “No it isn’t!”
Jack MacReady: “Look it up, cocksucker!”
Why I love it: See above, re: gross, hilarious, James Gunn, Nathan Fillion and Gregg Henry.
And there you have it! Next up, less humour but more aliens: time to visit Invasion of the Body Snatchers!